Updated: Jul 2
Way back when, when we were all little kids (or as my daughter refers to my youth as, back in the "ice age"), we got the idea that other folks had to love our stunts, the crazy ideas we cooked up, how cute we were, and validate pretty much every move we made and every amazing thought we had.
How did this happen? Well, how many times did we hear Good Job!? Every time we heard those words, it validated how great we were. It gave us permission to keep going. To strut our stuff. And we got used to hearing this from parents, friends, family members, teachers. Never from ourselves.
And if they didn't approve of us, you know, performing on the kitchen table, didn't say Good Job!, the two most awesome words in the English language, we may as well have hung up our super hero capes and called it a day. Dare I say, we didn't feel loved.
So it's no mystery that we learned to look for this validation from the outside world. This is what we were trained to do. And it was all very nice for others to give us a pat on the back and make us feel good. The trouble started when we grew up and had all of this creativity pouring out of us. And what happened? We were afraid to put it out there. To share it with the world. Why? Because of the What If's:
What if no one likes what I'm doing (meaning no one likes me)?
What if they laugh their asses off?
What if they think I'm an imposter?
What if they don't respond at all?
What if they say "Who do you think you are? Lady Gaga? Picasso? Stephen King?..."
What if __________?
We have two choices.
1) Allow the What If's to extinguish all the creativity and joy we have. (This is a big yawn because you're worth so much more than this.)
2) Believe in your uniqueness. Believe you weren't put here just to take up space.
It's hard. I know. But we have to pull up our big girl panties and believe like we never did before. In ourselves. Without the outside validation or permission or support or the words Good Job! How in the hell do I do that? That's like asking me to give up chocolate mousse when it's been part of my life for, well, ever!
Here's the thing. How can anyone else understand your idea? Your vision? Your song? Your story? Your art? Your... as well as you?
Now, maybe someone will get it right off the bat. But on the whole, why would they? It's something that's inside YOU. Not them. It belongs to YOU. And to share it with others means you may have to be patient. Very patient. And help them along. Help them see all this coolness pouring out of you.
It also means you have to tell the gremlin living in your head, trying to pull you down and scare you shitless because you're trying something new, that you can't go out and play, and to leave you alone. And mean it.
Now listen up cause this is important. Of the billions of people on this planet, not everyone will understand or like your genius. And that's okay. So don't let any weird looks or negative talk discourage you. Ever. If what you are sharing helps you feel good, know that it will help others feel good too.
The world is waiting for you. Don't freeze up now. Do it. It's scary. Scary to love something so much and to be so passionate and to feel alone in it. It is scary. And that's okay. You may hit it out of the park. You may not. Do it anyway.
Share it with everyone. Be patient. Give them time to understand what you already know so well. Nurture them. Enrich them. Do it because there's no way you can't not do it. Do it because it's your passion and it feeds your soul. Do it because we all need your light.
What’s this got to do with success?
Just about everything. Push yourself to have courage. To be you. If there was ever a time to believe in yourself, it is now. Look in the mirror and say Good Job!
Don't be afraid of your success. Don't be afraid of your greatness. Don't be afraid to be the person you dream about. Don't be afraid of giving the world you. We're waiting... It's time to start doing you.
And if you're wondering what the hell I'm even talking about, I'm here to help you believe in yourself. To help you not be afraid of success. To stand with you.
If this resonates with you, I'd love to give you what I have found to be so valuable.
So, please click here for your free Mindset Guide.