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  • Writer's pictureSheila Kamuda

Kill All Your Darlings

Updated: Sep 15, 2020

I believe it was English writer Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, who coined the phrase "Kill All Your Darlings." This is a cue for writers to cut a word, a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter, if a better idea shows up. Of course, this is hard to do. Almost impossible. To let go of your brilliance. But great writers follow this "rule."

If this is true with writing, why not with that negative stuff we carry around for years like a wet bag of cement? There's something about holding on to anger, frustration, bitterness, sadness, disappointment, despair, and all the rest of the downers.

We love this stuff. It helps us feel we’re in the right (which we are). Or Safe. Or it gives us something to fight for. We actually think this will remedy our situation. I mean, we don’t know what other action to take. This feels like we’re doing something. And this becomes our go-to. It’s how we think we have control.

Just to be clear, it’s okay to have the emotion. We’re going to get angry, disappointed, sad, and all the rest. It’s just not okay to be stuck in that hell till the end of time. And I’ll tell you why.

The good news is the anger can help us sever a relationship (personal, business), that has become toxic. And then, we can move on to better things in our life. A negative emotion like anger can kick us in the ass and force us to take some real action. Inspired action. The bad news is we often stay stuck in that muck. Like forever. That is a no-no and can only lead us into the fiery pits of Mordor.

I know. I know. It’s hard to let these darlings go. They help us remember the injustice! the frustration! the despair! I get it. All I’m saying is let them go so you can move on and be the stellar badass you deserve to be. These little darlings will keep you in jail. No point being a badass there.

So have your say (or outburst). Get it out. Write it all down. Take the action you need to take (look for that new job, say goodbye to that relationship...) and then burn the damn piece of paper and let it go.

Why? Because You Are So Worth It. Love yourself enough to not want to live with this agony. Love yourself enough to know you can have better, do better, be better. 

We must practice “killing all our darlings.” Once that space is available, greater stuff will surely come and fill it. Trust me on this.

What’s this got to do with success? You are here to evolve. Letting go of something you don’t need, especially something toxic, makes room for a greater you. Maybe it’s time for a career or personal refresh. Be brave. Let go. See what turns up. This is your time.

If you're wondering what the hell I'm even talking about, I'm here to to help you get rid of that wet bag of cement and create a new normal. 

Click for your free 30-minute non obligation consultation.

For more reading pleasure, here’s an article I know you'll enjoy from the original badass, Jen Sincero


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